Don’t go into an adventure thinking it’ll cure any of your issues. If anything, it’ll shine light on every single one of them at the same time. And it might be pretty fucking blinding.
I didn’t go into the PCT thinking it’ll solve any of my problems, but boy I didn’t expect to stare all of them in the eye right after. I’m working my way through, but it’s rough.
I’m writing this as i’m sitting in the spring sun in central Sweden, just after a few thunderstorms that made me question my choice of going here in the first place. I needed this break, a break from the life I returned to in November, after 7 months of living in the woods out of a backpack. Those months changed more than I ever would’ve thought, but all that change is not easy to implement into the life I had. How does one go from tasting the essence of life and community experienced on trail, back into society that expects you to raise and start working before sunrise until after sunset?
It’s not all bad, after doing something hard (the pct) and courageous (going through the tough sections of the pct) I’m finally going through other tough sections, the ones that reside in my head. The sections that don’t want to and haven’t received a lot of attention.
If the trail has shown me anything it’s that any dire situation can be worked through if you just pause and consider the options that you have in front of you rather than crying of the options you don’t. I’m doing that now and I still see a plethora of options to choose from. And I will choose, because waiting is not an available option anymore.